Tomas, I Will Kill You (Bisaya Version)

Bitoy's version of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance, lol!

Bisdak Jokes

Thanks for superrjandory for this video.

Nobody, Nobody Visayan version

Aguy! Ang mga bisdak, perti gyud ka lingaw ani ba! Bisan unsay uso, naa gyud ning mga bisaya panglaban, super galing talaga! Watch this one as a good example as how creative visayans are. I hope you enjoy it!

PR? What the heck is that?

I don't understand a bit about this PR thing. My two blogs which i believe are lot better than this blog remained at ZERO PR while this blog which i created solely for my personal use -where i could freely pour out my emotions, a no-holds barred kind of a thing, but i wasn't able to maintain and never had time to update since March surprisingly has a PR2! Can you believe that? Now, tell me what a PR is, because i don't think it is about quality of posts and traffic and all these BS because these are non-existent in this blog. If a blog has a PR, it doesn't mean it has quality. Hello! Are you kidding me?

No time for self-pity .....

I have to admit that sometimes i feel sorry for myself when i am at work. I feel that i got the lowest ranking position in my job and i could not help but compare what i am doing now with what i used to do while working in a government agency in the Philippines. Heck, i never did this job before because we got someone who does this job for me. But i also realize that "hey, you are not in the Philippines anymore! You are now here in the US, earning dollars, no matter what lowly job you got!" Which is true! I got a masters degree from a prestigious university in Australia but did that help me? Nope! They did not even ask me about that when i applied for the job because they just need a high school graduate, anyway. My job is a no-brainer job, believe me! Anybody even without an education can do it as long as he/she can read and write and count as well. But I admit, i cannot afford to lose this job right now, even if i know fully well, that this is just a temporary job and i can lose it anytime. Who has job security these days, anyway? Even a President can be ousted if he screws up in his job! Who am i to complain?

Dyok Time!

(from Jane)

Juan: San ka galing?

Pedro: sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.

Juan: E bakit puro kaLmot ang mukha at braso mo?

Pedro: Mahirap ilibing eh... Lumalaban!!

GF: I'm warning you! darating na si daddy within 1 hour!

BF: Eh ano ngayon? eh wala naman tayong ginagawang masama ah!

GF: Kaya nga! kung may plano ka, DALIAN MO NA!!

HONEYMOON:

Wife: Hon wag mo ako bibiglain ha? I'm still a virgin!

Husband: You mean ako ang una?

Wife: Yes, do it na

Husband: I did it na, kanina pa!!

Wife: ah ganon ba? Aray pala!

Ama: Buntis anak ko, panagutan mo!

BF: May asawa na po ako!

Ama: Pano 'to?

BF: Areglo na lang po... 2 M pag Boy, 2.5M pag Girl

Ama: Ok, pero pag nakunan. GIB HER ANADER CHANS ha?

Misis: lolokohin ko mister ko, magpapanggap ako na prosti dito sa kanto namin (dumaan ang mister nya...)

Misis: Pogi! available ako ngayon, pwede ka ba?

Mister: Yoko sayo kamukha mo misis ko!Hurmph

FACT: did you know that those people who laugh with "hehe" loves sex and people who laugh with "haha" are intelligent?...wala lang, just to let you know. hehe...Ay, haha pala!

Maid: Sir sinong mas yummy? si mam ba o ako?

Sir: Syempre naman ikaw day! bakit?

Maid: Naguguluhan lang po kasi ako eh... sabi kasi ng driver, eh mas yummy daw talaga si mam!

Wife: Dear, ano regalo mo mo sa 25th Anniversary natin?

Husband: Dalhin kita sa Africa ...Wife: Wow! How sweet naman... eh! sa 50th Anniversary natin?

Husband: Susunduin na kita!

A Husband came home 4AM and saw his wife in bed with another man His wife shouted at him, "Where have you been?"

Husband: "Who is that man?!?"

Wife: "Grabe ka! Dont change the topic!!"

BUS HINOLDAP!

Holdaper: re-reypin ko lahat ng babae dito!

Prosti: ako na lang po, maawa kayo sa iba..

Lola: Sinabi na ngang LAHAT eh! sasagot pa! gagang 'to!

Dalawang probinsyano sumakay sa elevator

Gorio: magkano ibabayad natin?

Andoy: tanga! inosente! bugok! stupid! bat ka magbabayad eh wala pa tayong tiket!

Love is a hidden fire, a pleasant sore, a soothing pain, an agreeable torment, a sweet wound, in short - a gentle death! ang lalim! shet! dati Love is blind lang eh!

Mister: Di ko na kaya problema ko!

Misis: Hon, problema natin ito, tayo ang magkasama sa buhay, lahat ng problema mo problema ko... ano problema natin?

Mister: nabuntis natin si Inday, tayo ang ama!

Pedro: Pare bakit malungkot ka?

Juan: Asawa ko nag hire ng driver, Gwapo, Bata, Macho!

Pedro: Nagseselos ka?

Juan: Nagtataka lang ako kasi wala naman kaming sasakyan!

Anak: Itay, bibili ako ng bang paper
Itay: Anak, wag kang bobo ha? hindi "bang paper"ang tawag dun!

Anak: Ano po ba?

Itay: "Kokongban"

Women are physically stronger than men...Why? Because women can carry two mountains at a time! while men can carry only two eggs...Take Note! with the help of a bird pa!

Ang buhay parang gulong....Wala parang gulong lang...Gusto mo parang bubong?... e di sige

Ang buhay parang bubong...

Madre: Father, tell your seminarian not to urinate along the fence...

Father: Sister naman, maliit na bagay lang papansinin mo pa...

Madre: No Malalaki, Father.. Malalaki!

Alam mo ba kung bakit may sabaw ang balot? Kung Ikaw kaya ang ikulong sa shell... saan ka ji-jingle? Aber? Saan?? Sumagot kaaaa!!! SaaaAANNNNNNN ?!?!?!

Pare 1: Pare, sa wakas nag ka GF na rin ako!!

Pare 2: Bakit!?! Ngayon ka lang ba nagka GF?
Pare 1:OO pare! sobrang higpit kasi ni Misis eh! Ngayon lang ako nakalusot!

Bisaya 1: " Gara ng kutsi, siguro kay Miyur iyan."!

Bisaya 2: " Dili bay!"

Bisaya 1: " Kay Hipi?"

Bisaya 2: " Tuntu ka man. Kay FATHER iyan. Gisulat niya sa likud o,"'SAFARI'. "

Misis: " Sir, mananawagan po sana ako sa mister ko kasi dinala Niya ang limang anak namin."

Radio Host: " Ok, go ahead!"

Misis: " Honey, ibalik mo na ang mga bata, isa lang naman ang sa Iyo diyan!"

WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.

HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "GO TO HELL", Kaya ito uwi agad ako.

Pedro: Kumustang bagong nanalo sa lotto?
Juan: Eto, inaway ng misis ko
Pedro: Bakit?
Juan: Bday ng asawa ko kahapon, tanong ko siya ano gusto niya regalo

Pedro: ano naman sinabi?

Juan: Kahit ano basta mayDIAMOND.

Pedro: ano binigay mo?

Juan: BARAHA!

Sino mas kawawa? yung taong iniwan ng mahal nya? o mga taong nagmamahal ng walang gusto sa kanya? pareho lang di ba? pero mas kawawa yung taong... bihis na bihis na tapos... hindi naman pala kasama!